Self destruction or human nature?

Here I sit on my couch eating my yogurt mixed with granola, waiting for my coffee press to finish making my morning addiction, in awe of how suddenly quiet my house is compared to just ten minutes ago.  Ten minutes ago was the wind down of an hour long cry from my 8 week old.  An hour of inconsolable tears with a free side of bottom lip quivering.  It was one of those moments where nothing you do soothes him and you think to yourself "I did this to myself on purpose!?" I then thought "is having children self destruction on your sanity or is it just human nature to reproduce and we forget all the bad because the good is so good?"  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mother...but who LOVES having an infant scream from the top of their lungs? So here you are in your bedrooms walk in closet with the door shut just so that the baby doesn't wake up the older two! I am suddenly singing lullaby's and changing the words to "please do NOT wake up the 2 and 4 year old".  The 2 year old was up until midnight telling me his tummy hurt and by the time I crawled into my comfy bed I couldn't sleep.  I lay there staring at the ceiling, tossing from side to side, and I almost actually got up to make cookies because it just seemed like the thing to when one has a bout of insomnia, right?  So, yes, I am a sleep deprived mother who will gladly make daddy take over when he comes home from work....in JANUARY. Again I think I must have a love for self destruction but I really love my husband so it evens out in the end.  Well, so much for the quiet house.  The other two are up.  I really wanted to go to Target and a few other stores today but we got our first snow and even though I live in Northern Idaho where snow is natural occurrence in the cold months people still drive like 7 year olds who stole their parents car.  That and I am so tired that I am afraid in my zombie like state I might leave a child in the toy section of Target. And I won't lie, some days I fantasize about that.  I have to hand it to the movie Sex and the City 2 for the scene where they talk about being a mom how it is.  That no matter how much you love your children you have days where you think "WHY!? WHY DID I DO THIS!?"

Well the coffee is done and the miniature humans are in need of something breakfast like.  And here starts another day.