Archive for July 2009

To Fly

7/20/2009 01:35:00 PM 0 Comments A+ a-



I lay my head down on the grass
To get a better view of the sky
I watch the clouds float aimlessly
And wonder what it would be like to fly
To watch the world
While I soar with grace
Feeling the wind carry me
Closing my eyes to embrace
To be able to see
What the bald eagle sees
Hold out my hands
And drift with ease
Feel my chest pause
Because my breath I am holding
I feel the rays of sunshine
As my future is unfolding
I open my eyes
And blink once or twice
Pondering my fantasy
And how it seems oh so nice
Just then without warning
I feel like I'm afloat
I can't move my body
I have a lump in my throat
I hear a tiny voice
A whisper calling my name
I feel a force upon me
Gone as quick as it came...
I suddenly realize
As I stared down below
That my body still lay in the grass
In the midst of quite a show...
I hear the voice in my ear again
Telling me I'm free again
My body may be without life
But my soul
My soul
Is free again....

Let's pop the Blogger cherry

7/20/2009 10:51:00 AM 0 Comments A+ a-

Hmmm, an actual blogger website. I'm used to myspace blogs, which, no one reads anyways, and I don't use myspace anymore...I felt that it was time to advance in my blog writing. I suppose this will do. I don't really blog because I need a diary, but more often than not I do have tons of things on my mind and it feels good to get them out. Some are important, others....not so much. All the same, feels good to have an outlet.

I'm sitting here, on my couch in my office and all I hear is the fan in front of me and the damn construction 5 feet from my house. If that construction wasn't there it would be a relaxing setting. The field across my house that gives my home that middle of nowhere feel when really I am smack dab in the middle of town. A small town. A small town with lousy roads. I have to go right to go left more often than not, and I find this annoying. The freeway was poorly placed in the middle of town, like a force field that you can't go through, you must go around. This adds an extra ten minutes to your car ride, no matter where you are going really. Then if you factor in the stupid people, that' another 5.
Anyways, so here I sit, with my coffee, my school work scattered around me and my tv/computer across the room with the end of a show I watched on hulu. Parker, my youngest, is sleeping upstairs (through the loud construction I have no idea how....) and Ryley is at my mom's still from spending the night. Ah yes, almost quiet house. I am rewarding myself with some slacker time since I have been working so hard on my school work all morning. Come the end of the day, I will be 50% into my certification! Give me till next week and I will be done, thus certifying me to be a wedding coordinator! I have even started my own business which gives me warm tinglies to think about!
While I am scared because this is a huge step for me in my life, I am excited! I am excited to never have to call in sick to work again because I am my own boss. I am excited because I have people at my disposal to help me. Ok disposal makes them sound like slaves but for lack of a better word, I'm going to keep it there. Regardless, these people are here which comforts me.
I sometimes miss the part of my life I once had where I had nothing better to do than lay out in the sun all day slathered in oil reading a good book. Welcome to adulthood Jocelyn.
Busy busy busy! I need to learn better time management I think. I have so much to do all the time and never get it all accomplished. Especially when Aaron is away at work, like he is now (and he comes home this following weekend, I am thrilled!!!). Let's see where I stand...
  • Keep the almost 2000 sq. foot home clean
  • School....study, homework, etc
  • Business stuff like making logos, business cards, business plan, all the nitty gritty
  • My children stay home with me all day (what the hell was I thinking!!!). I have to feed them (or so I'm told) chase them and tell them twenty times to put whatever they have in their hands that they aren't supposed to have down, nap them, clean them, chase them some more, feed them again, give Parker his meds four times a day....chase them, yell at them, clean them again, and finally bed. I estimate this is 75% of my day.
  • Yard work while Aaron is gone. I have felt this to be least important and do as little as possible in this category. I have kept the front from looking like one of those old creepy Halloween houses with the weeds as tall as the children. The back however is a different story. And I am not telling you that story.
  • Errands. Also a part in which I try to avoid but dr's appts and grocery shopping are rather important aspects of life.
  • OOO my puppy! My little Yorkie Poo Miss Bella Rose. The not wanting to house train puppy....*sigh* You know the rest I am sure.
  • And my favorite, the little slice of life that holds my facebook and Internet addiction. Seeing as how going out and having fun was not on this list, this will have to do. I get people interaction everyday and don't even have to leave my house! Or shower, which lately has been tougher to do every night than usual. I find myself lately standing in the shower trying not to fall asleep.
So that about sums up my day in the physical form! Please folks, keep the jealousy at a minimum here! I find myself lately though waking up in the morning with the attitude of "the kitchen can kiss my ass" which means no cooking, and the cleaning can wait. It will still be there tomorrow. With the weeds. I try to not get emotional about things, because after all they are often out of my control, and I do my best which is all anyone can ask for....right? Oh dear...Aaron will be home this next weekend and the house is thrashed. My living room looks like Toys R Us puked all over it and my dishes need washed. Which in my world means I need to unload and load the dishwasher.
All weekend I had the "kiss my ass" attitude with the downstairs of the house. I did focus on laundry and putting clothes away though, which I feel is equally important. Would hate to have to walk around naked due to no clean clothes....although this might solve the construction issue. scare them half to death and they shall leave! I like this plan, I will work more on this.....I'll add it to the list...
Well it's mid day and my coffee cup needs refilled and I need to clean that kitchen so that I can find some lunch somewhere in there. Don't wait up for me.

/Logoff JRB
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